Coco Random · Uncategorized

Involuntary Changes

Yesterday I resigned from my job. It wasn’t my idea but my doctor, my husband, and my body all told me that it was a good idea, and indeed, the only choice.

So now, I’m a happy (although perplexed) housewife for the near future.

When I started this job I thought it was going to be my be-all end-all. I was finally putting my education and previous experience to use after being off track in that area for 8 years. I was moving up quickly and generally liked by my co-workers, some of them even trusted my previous experience and let me train them when they were training me.

And then… I got sick one day out of the blue and had to leave early.

It was a virus, take some antibiotics.

Two weeks later I was still sick.

That’s when the paper party bowls showed up… for a stool sample.

Celiac, yes, no, maybe, we don’t know.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome, yes, no, maybe, we don’t know.

When my doctor asked me if I dealt with a lot of stress I laughed at her. Actually, it may have been more of a cackle, I think the way it sounded even made my husband look at me like I was “off”.

Eczema started to show up, then acne, then I couldn’t lose any weight, then the near fainting.

Their simple diagnoses wasn’t what I actually wanted. I wanted to hear that I could still be superwoman and handle working full-time while being a full-time wife and step mom. I wanted to hear that there was a pill for my condition and that all I had to do was drive over to the pharmacy and that everything would be okay by the end of the week.

But the simple answer is that my heart and logic were lining up to tell me the truth.

What I thought I wanted most. Wasn’t really what I wanted at all.

If I were still in my early 20’s, and alone, I’d be plugging along just fine. But at the end of the day I’m really a step-mom with a kid that really needs me right now, and a husband that works long days one after the other, sometimes working two months in a row. And since I’ve been gone from home neither one of us has been faring so well on the heath front, because bye-bye home-cooked meals and hello drive-thru.

I’ve worked hard these past almost three years, carefully concocting a nutrition and vitamin plan for my husband’s lifestyle and ailments. And I feel like a lot of my work was undone in the course of a few months since I was away from home so much. Yes, my husband could have perhaps made better food choices and not been so dependent on me but I am guilty as well, McDonald’s for breakfast, local hamburger or Chinese food for lunch, pizza or Taco Bell for dinner. We were the product of two people that, at the end of the day, couldn’t even conceive of getting out of our cars to walk into a grocery store after yet another long shift.

So, it looks like I’ll have a lot of household management ideas to write about. We’ll see.




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