Church Shopping

Irreverent sounding, isn’t it?

I have this need all of the sudden to head to the buffet of churches and take a bite out of each tray. And then, I’d like to find a home.

When I moved to the Midwest I was shocked by the level of churches that dot the area. I started to notice it in Missouri and then as I continued onward to my destination the number of church buildings that I spotted never seemed to dwindle in numbers. I was intrigued by the amount of different types of churches.

Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Seven-Day Adventists, Mennonite, Lutheran, Non-Denominational churches with weird names (why?). The old West Coast standbys, Vineyards and Calvary Chapels. The mega-church with the very suspicious Paul and Jan Crouch look-a-like couple heading it. The tiny starter churches renting strange spaces, i.e. warehouses, empty stores, etc…

So, I’ve decided to try most of them out, minus the ones that I’ve already been to, the Seventh-Day Adventists – I’m not ready to give up my Saturdays OR meat at the moment – I probably won’t be seen in a conservative Baptist church, and I’m already a Mormon so I know what dem Mormons are all about.

Stop there…

No, I am not in a cult.

No, I do not practice polygamy – nor does my husband.

No, I do not wear the “magical underwear”.

No, I have not seen “The Book of Mormon”.

I have tattoos, more than two piercings in my ears, I also drink coffee, wine, tequila (oh tequila how I love thee). I’m on husband number two and I have not been married in the temple.

Yes, I love the church. It just hasn’t loved me back but that’s another story for another time.

As much as I’ve been trying to keep faith out of my life lately, I do feel a void without it. I really spent the past two years trying to on erase all religious belief, to make myself a blank slate and find out who I’d be, what I’d believe in, and what things I’d search out on my own, my upbringing aside and I do come back to my more traditional self on my own after exploring and contemplating other options. Also, there is just something about the Christians I personally know that make me want to be more like them.

So, here I am. About to write about churches like I’m reviewing a restaurant for Yelp.

Stay tuned.








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